Let me sketch out what is going on. Aranka my youngest is 6, going to be 7 next week. She's in class with 25 kids, no problems she loves most of the kids. She's seated on an 'island' of 4 tables, with 1 other girl and 2 boys.
the 2 boys are both very sweet on their own ways. W is quiet and calm and cuddly, R is busy, an attention seeker. Bot are so much in love that they constantly try to make eachother look bad to get Aranka's attention. Now both boys come over for lunch occasionally 1 by 1 and it's NEVER a problem. However in class they do fight to get Aranka's attention. Aranka on her turn get's very sad from it all. and the last 2 weeks she cried 9 evenings about the boys fighting.

So R came over for lunch again and I told him that maybe instead of fighting they could better try to be friends the 3 of them.
However I did not get angry, didnt raise my voice, it was just something that came up because they both mentioned the other boys name. So it wasnt a lecture or anything. His mom felt I was outof line to ask him to stop fighting....

Now this mom went to the teacher, and the teacher claims she has never witnessed them fighting or calling eachother names.
I told the teacher i'm certain it happens in class cause Aranka is not a liar. Mind you this teacher NEVER sees anything she has given classes to my other 2 children as well and i find her incompetent but that's my opinion. since the other 2 boys are oldest kids, those mothers do not know this teacher or her lack of knowing what is going on, so they fly blind with what the teacher says.

Yesterday the teacher asked me after school what was going on and why i felt the need to tell the boy to not fight. I told her when Aranka cries 9 out of 14 evenings I have every right to try to make it a better situation for all 3. However she keeps saying NOTHING goes on. Now 1 of the moms was present when the teacher asked me what was going on, the other mom was not.
So not much later the other mom of the other boy calls me, to tell me I should mind my own buisness and when those 2 boys fight it is between them. I told her they fight over MY daughter and she cries about it, so it is my buisness as well.

Yesterday evening Aranka had swimming lessons and the other girl from their table swims with her. Her mother asked me, is Aranka getting tired of the fights allready?
I asked her what fights, she replied the boys trying to get her love and attention and who's more sweet and so on. So THIS girl also claims these boys fight.
I asked her if she wanted to adres this to the teacher monday.
Now the 2 moms of the boys are both mad at me, for trying to solve this issue for all 3 of them. I mean 6 years old should not fight over who they get married to right?

The boy moms both feel that it is something between the boys only, and I should not have mentioned it. I still feel because they make my girl cry I have every right to try to see if this can be solved.

Should I demand that Aranka will be seated on another table, should I do nothing and see how it goes after the weekend?
and am I really a terrible mom for trying to solve my daughter's sadness???

__________________
Happy Scrappings, Carin

Designing in CT Teams for:


My blog My Gallery My kaboodle My Scrap 4 hire & extraction site

Carin, I'm sure the teacher knows what is going on. If she doesn't, then she may not be the best teacher. I'm sorry. I'd just simply ask her if she would please move Aranka. If she doesn't, then you can always go to the administration. Just wait until middle school!

__________________
My gallery right over here!!!



MY SBB STORE, COME ON IN



My Blog Designer Cheese and Other Ramblings

Wow Carin! What a pain! One of my pet peeves is parents who won't admit that their kids ever do anything wrong! As a parent myself, I perfectly ready to admit that my kids know how to cause trouble, and I would hope to be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

I would probably ask the teacher to move your daughter too. Hope she is feeling happier soon.

__________________

Carin - I would definitely ask to have my daughter moved to another table. And, like Cheesy said, if need be, go to administration. Good luck with this situation!

__________________
- Kathy

I would get her moved to another table and not let either boy over to your house unless they stop the fighting. Good luck!

__________________

I never understand why parents can't imagine that their children's aren't angels. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but if my guy came home crying each night, you better be sure that I would be complaining. I agree, get her out of the situation, and ask for her to be moved.

__________________
Emily
Check out what I've been scrappin'!

Gosh- been so long since my kids were this age. Would definitely see about having Aranka seated at a different table BUT would ask her her feelings on it first. If she isn't open to the move then work on getting her to see it is a competitive guy thing -boys will be boys- and the positive side is she should feel honored that they both want her friendship enough to compete/fight for it. I would still encourage the friendships outside the school- (slthough not with both boys at the same time). Some of my better friend relationships -even through highschool- were with boys but they weren't really as "boyfriends" but freinds who were boys. It really is a wonderful kind of friendship. Sure hope Aranka's tears and distress are soon eased.

__________________

Raising my hand for your attention - hehehehehe
Carin, I agree with the girls, have your little one removed from the boys and sat somewhere else.

Maybe alittle word of advise for the future instead of speaking to the child/ren, maybe bring it up with the mom's express your concerns with a question mentioning how your daughter is responding to the situation and see if they have any insight to how to handle it. Just an idea.

But now that you have the other girl's mom approaching you with the same info, I definitely have your little one sat somewhere else. (mind you it won't stop they'll find another way to continue for her attention).

__________________