stranger talks/private parts talks - SBB Digital Scrapbooking Forums | Scrapbook-Bytes

LDesjardin · #1 (**permalink**) 07-19-2007

My son is going into Kindergarten in August and I want to talk to him about strangers without scaring him. I also want to emphasize that no one is allowed to touch his private parts but I'm not sure exactly how to approach this topic without scaring him or without raising unnecessary questions - if you know what I mean. Any suggestions?

emskubie · #2 (**permalink**) 07-19-2007

There are some books about this- Mister Roger's might have one, and I've had these talks with DS (whose 4). The research on this that I have seen suggests that while starting to have these conversations is a good thing, it takes a few years to sink in just because of the kid's age.

Tracey R (Haley64) · #3 (**permalink**) 07-19-2007

Do you still help him bath, like help wash his hair and back? I always started this topic first as a funny thing like saying: I helped make your back and your head...laugh a little and explain how wonderful you made him. That only you can touch him because you are his mommy and you made him.
Wash the bottoms of his feet and tickle a little, ears, nose, chin and repeat, I made these and only I and you (him) can touch them and no one else can or should. Keep it very light hearted and fun and then when he is laughing and having fun ask him if he understands.

I did it like this with all 4 of my kids and they are very aware of strangers and the bad touches they can do. Start when they are young and you have an influence!

Funny story, yesterday at Target, in my honda civic, 14 yr old dd is sitting half way on my wallet. I reach over and tug it out from under her cheek. She says straight faced..."Uuuhhmm, I would appreicate it if next time you asked permission before you touch my bottom!! Then she smiled...

I laughed so hard... and asked her where do you come up with stuff like that so fast!

She said..."I just thought it was funny to say!

Diamante · #4 (**permalink**) 07-19-2007

Gosh I'm with you on this one! My boys 2&3 are so friendly with everyone that it's almost scary!! I'll be watching.

Great advice Tracey!!

I do try and say little things to my boys that no one is allowed to touch him unless it's a doctor and mommy is there.

jodys · #5 (**permalink**) 07-19-2007

However you tell him, make sure he understands he should tell you or someone it happened. And that it's ok to tell. Alot of kids know it feels wrong but are confused if they are right so they tell no one.

Tracey R (Haley64) · #6 (**permalink**) 07-20-2007

Oh yes Jody, I so forgot that part! VERY VERY important!

Silly · #7 (**permalink**) 07-20-2007

I think it's important not to use the word "stranger" too...we all talk to strangers and it occurred to me that I was confusing my ds when I talked to someone in line at the store and he later asked where I knew that person from. The difference is that although this person was a stranger to me, they weren't doing anything strange - they didn't approach me, or call me by my name or a pet name like "buddy" - I hope this makes sense.
My ds and I also had a code word so that no one could tell him that I sent them to pick him up unless they knew the code word. He picked "gold fish."

LDesjardin · #8 (**permalink**) 07-20-2007

Wow what great ideas girls. I found a book at the library that looks pretty good that he may like, but I love the bath-time idea. Thanks.