Teen Bedrooms: Their Space or Your House? - SBB Digital Scrapbooking Forums | Scrapbook-Bytes

coffeequeen · #1 (**permalink**) 06-11-2006

Arrrggghhh! My son's room in a PIGSTYE! I have to beg, bribe and threaten on a daily basis for him to just keep it barely picked up and I am soooo tired of it! He is absolutely meticulous with his personal hygiene and clothes, but just heaves everything in his room! And it can be a disaster 10 minutes after he picks it up (note I do not use the word clean a his definition is NOT my definition of that!).

So I have been told to back off and let it be his personal space. But I have issues with that as a) it's off the livingroom, so unless the door is closed, everyone see it, b) he doesn't learn to take care of anything and things get broken, clean clothes rewashed needlessly, etc, and c) it is just not being respectful of our wishes as his parents.

But maybe I am too old fashioned? How do you all handle this? Back down or Press on?

McMartian · #2 (**permalink**) 06-11-2006

depends. if he's gonna hurt himself stop him. if insects and rodents live there well duh. but he should have some privacy. and to a teen it's not about u. its not personal.

is there room for compromise? perhaps within a certain range of the door or when guests come? good luck.

danib · #3 (**permalink**) 06-11-2006

My Mom was old school and said clean it up.. gave me several warning as to what she was going to do.. didn't believe her!... long story short all my stuff that was on the floor was GONE!. she left me with enough clothes but of course they weren't my favorites.. those were on the floor. I had to earn my stuff back by keeping it clean for x amount of days in a row. Oh PS she took my curling iron too and this was in the 80's so you can imagine how ticked I was.
I kept my room much cleaner.

mom2twinsplus1 · #4 (**permalink**) 06-11-2006

That's a good idea Dani. Maybe you could require him to do his own laundry and to keep his bedroom door closed? Oh, and if things get broken, make him pay to replace them.

I am going to be watching this thread closely, since my boys are only 5, 5, and 3 1/2. I'm sure I'll be needing this advice at some point!

smurf428 · #5 (**permalink**) 06-11-2006

I also had this problem with my parents. I'm 24 now and believe me I'm a clean freak now but when I was 12-18 my room could be mistaken for a trash bump. My mom and me would fight daily about my room over and over. I remember a few times she would clean it and in like an hour it was trashed. Its nothing personal, and hes not trying to get you mad. Its just I'm sure teens dont see the point in cleaning it. When hes older he will have more respect for his things and keep them clean. It wasn't until I moved out and got my own place, my own things, and my friends started coming over, Before I started to clean. Now you could eat off my floor (ok well maybe not but you get the point) I think you should just close the door and in a few years it will change.

digiscraptina · #6 (**permalink**) 06-12-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by danib

My Mom was old school and said clean it up.. gave me several warning as to what she was going to do.. didn't believe her!... long story short all my stuff that was on the floor was GONE!. she left me with enough clothes but of course they weren't my favorites.. those were on the floor. I had to earn my stuff back by keeping it clean for x amount of days in a row. Oh PS she took my curling iron too and this was in the 80's so you can imagine how ticked I was.
I kept my room much cleaner.

Well I must be old school...

cos I give then 2 warnings and if it's not donw I tell them I'm going to clean up their room while they're at school and whatever I find that is not in the right spot goes in the bin! I have had to clean their rooms a couple of times after they didn't bother and put their stuff in a basket and let them stew for a bit thinking I threw their good sneakers, mp3 players in the bin....yep I'm mean!

jodys · #7 (**permalink**) 06-12-2006

I would start to clean their room like once a month. Gave me a chance to snoop without that issue coming up. Usually when they got home from school they would finish cuz they didn't want me in there.

Tracey R (Haley64) · #8 (**permalink**) 06-12-2006

LOL My mom made me clean my room and it never hurt me or made me some crazy person in my later life!!
It was my space, clean or dirty, didn't matter to me. Mom also taught me how to wash dishes, dust and clean toilets HER WAY!!! I didn't like having a dish I thought was clean enough dumped back into the sink...but guess what I learned how to wash dishes by hand very well. I also can dust and clean toilets with the best of them.
Ok fast forward 30+ years...my kids rooms are a disaster... I tried, I yelled, I threatened I took and hid there stuff, I made them earn it back. I thought I lost the battle back then but my 20 yr old daughter is now a bigger clean freak then I am. My 23 yr old son is a neat freak and organized beyond belief!! (I should have him organize my scrapping kits!!)

Now my youngest two 13 & 12 I am right back to yelling, begging, screaming....boy I sure hope all this energy is going to be worth it the second time around!
Respect..yes for both him and yourself is a must!! Good Luck