Just had to let this out.. - SBB Digital Scrapbooking Forums | Scrapbook-Bytes

guikrazy · #1 (**permalink**) 10-06-2005

I don't know how many have heard of the reported specific threats to the NYC Subway syterm. I literally need to write this down so that the feeling can go away. I am actually nervous, anxious and somewhat scared. However, I am writing this to let those feelings go, as I know fear is the ultimate goal of the terrorists.

The feeling that is right behind feelings of anxiety and fear, is just plain anger. I LOVE architecture and I felt a tear in my heart when the twin towers were gone. (I think it is easier for me to think of the towers, rather than the people, b/c that is just too overwhelming.)

Our skyline is just not OUR skyline anymore. Once I was coming into NYC on a bus and had fallen asleep. I awoke and saw a city, but wasn't certain that it was MY City, My Home. Can you imagine not recognizing your home? (Unfortunately, there are lot of people in the Gulf who know that feeling and for them I feel increadibly sorry.)

I am getting so sick and tired of looking at buildings, landmarks, the Met Museum and Central Park and each time I see them doing two things: Thanking God that they are still there and then also saying Goodbye to them and being grateful for how long I had them. It is tiring and constantly leaves one on edge. It may seem totally odd to speak of Buildings/Places in such a human and emotional way, but these places represent emotions/stages of my life/interactions with friends/places where I started to imagine the future I wanted as an adult/etc. I think I feel like I need to take advantage of them/be grateful for them because I had always said that I was going to go to the top of the Trade Centers, but as a Native NYer I always just put it off because I just thought that they would always be there. In fact the day before the attack I had planned to go down to walk by the Trade Centers (in a beautiful part called Battery Park City - which is still pretty now, so if you come to NYC you should walk along the river there and see the Statue of Liberty) but as I descended down the steps into the Subway I said to myself, "I am too tired now. I will go early tomorrow morning." That thought has stayed with me all these years and I never want to put something off again.

I really don't know what the purpose of this post is, except to vent. I apologize for writing so much, but I am grateful that there is a place like SBB where I feel safe enough to do so.

*becki* · #2 (**permalink**) 10-06-2005

Oh wow, I really have no words, just sending you a great big cyber hug.
I think what you have written would make a very powerful layout.

Tracey R (Haley64) · #3 (**permalink**) 10-06-2005

I hear you, and I feel for your pain and anger! I never was blessed with seeing NY, I always wanted to at Christmas time and see the lighting of the Tree in NY Square.
I never got to see New Oleans, both of those two are places, I wanted to see....I was waiting for my kids to get a little older, to have more money.
My waiting has cost me, I will never get to see either the glory or the uniqueness of either of them!
I come from a town (Village) of 320 people, born and raised. I knew over 400 people in my childhood days, their kids and their cousins. I went to school with basically the same 18 kids my whole life, that was the size of our graduating class of 1982!! Our children now go to school together, as our parents went to school together. I lived in a town, that honestly when you dialed the wrong number you recognized the voice on the other end and talked with them for an hour!!
I might of missed my worldly travels and seen the sights that are no longer there and for that I am truely saddened by!!!
I don't know where I am going with this, except to say I hear you!!
They tore down the "old" school building where my grandmother was the first class to attend it, my father and mother went there, so did I and my brothers and our kids. They invited the town to come and grab a piece of the bricks for memories. I did and I still have it sitting out in my house!
Besides that the only change we have is when the older members of the town pass-away and the weeds and trees take over their houses and yards....I always thought that was sad, now I am left wondering....change is not a good thing and as we grow older we realize what we always took for granted!!

NellieRose · #4 (**permalink**) 10-06-2005

Hang in there Lysiane......write and speak your thoughts and emotions everytime you feel them welling up...get em out...vent. Don't be anxious...these are threats we have unknowingly lived with our entire lives, we were just unaware and not informed of these things......people in other countries live under constant threat and have suffered repeated devastating acts of terror....they continue on, it makes them stronger and it makes their will to live and survive on their own terms even stronger......today's announcement of the threat to our subways could happen or could have happened at any time, be alert, remain calm but remember to keep your chin up, continue to smile and keep taking your beautiful photographs to document the city we love so much and which is such a part of your livelihood....I know my 7 friends and family that lost their lives on Sept 11, 2001 would be sad to know their lives were lost and all that became of such a tragedy was that people were fearful and sick......all I can say is "really live while you are alive and do it on your own terms".........we are all in this together.

rmcabana · #5 (**permalink**) 10-06-2005

Big hugs Lysiane. I was driving to work today and heard a radio ad for the MTA's safety campaign "If you see something, say something" - it was about 20 minutes before the news broke. I can't stop thinking the strange timing of it.

Haley64, you haven't missed the glory of NYC! There's still so much more here - you should come to visit.

laurieg · #6 (**permalink**) 10-06-2005

Oh Lysiane- I'm so sorry that there are mean people in this world that ruin it for sweet people like you!

I will say a prayer for your safety and also for Jayne and Robin. I also pray that the MONSTERS that threaten us will be caught! And Robin- that is an awesome safety slogan- we ALL need to be aware and look out for each other- NOT look the other way. Jayne- I am so sorry for your losses.

Big (((hugs))) to all of you.

guikrazy · #7 (**permalink**) 10-06-2005

This is why I love SBB! Thanks SO much ALL OF YOU for your helpful words.

NellieRose, I am so sorry for your losses. Your words of strength and endurance mean a lot. It just occured to me that if we all purchased some of the SBB clothes, we might be walking in the streets and be able to recognize a fellow SBB'er, how cool would that be?!!!

Tracey, I cannot even begin to imagine your town.

It must be so cool to grow up where you know the misdialed person on the phone! Come visit us anytime, there is so much to see and do here.

Krash · #8 (**permalink**) 10-07-2005

Oh Lysiane...I once said to you in a post that I was afraid of the city...I come from a place that used to be, when I was growing up, not a whole lot bigger than Tracey's town. I used to think I'd feel closed and scared in a place like NYC with all the concrete and buildings...now I'm not. I'd love to come and see the Statue of Liberty and the beautiful sky-line and see all the many cultures that I've missed out on. I'm sooo sorry all of you are having to go through the terror. I can't imagine being scared to go out to shop or to work...Nellie Rose has the right idea...but I can't imagine NOT being scared after 9/11 and after hearing the current threats.
Just wanted you to know you're in my thoughts and all of NYC is in my prayers. What's done to you is done to all of us no matter where we live!! The NERVE of these people to try and take away our feelings of safety in our own homes!!
((hugs)) to all of you!! Especially you Lysiane!! Please keep taking your beautiful photographs! If I never get to NYC I feel a little like I've seen the beauty of it through your eyes

Nellie Rose just want to give you a little ((hug)) too! Soooo sorry for your losses....words can't express...