Tanya,

I really feel for you. My husband was in the military for 20 years (Air Force). You know it's always "possible"... but you don't think much about it until it happens. My husband went during the first Gulf War. I won't tell you the agony I went through, and all the "what if's" I thought of because you've already thought of them... and more.

I do have some ideas for dealing with it that I hope will help. One of the first things you might try is getting in contact with the spouses of the other people in his group/squadron. See if you can get them to set up regular "meetings" ... they don't have to be anything formal... even a pot luck picnic will work. The people who will understand MOST are the ones who are in the same situation with you!

If you are so inclined, join a church and see if there's a group there you can get active with. Spiritual support can be very comforting during times like this. AND, many churches have "fun" activites that will help you get through tough times.

If you have the time, try volunteering somewhere. Meals on Wheels often needs people, a childrens shelter, a room monitor at a grade school, the local library... there are all kinds of places that would be more than happy to have an extra heart and hands.

I guess my point here is: KEEP BUSY. Anything that will help you focus on something else, even if it's just for brief periods of time, WILL help.

Oh, and last: Invest in some bubble bath, a nice tea, a good book, lovely music, whatever makes YOU feel calm and relaxed. INDULGE yourself, pamper yourself... You will then have something for yourself....

Hugs and good thoughts,

Tandika

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